E-Journal 1

A memory called Ammachi - A short story written by a Brahmin women writer whose nick name is Vaidehi which is given by Sudha (Kannada weekly magazine) for her first publication in the literary world. She is from a Kota Brahmin community which is widely distributed in Udupi. Vaidehi steers clear of jingoistic announcements of feminist positions, but presents the perspective of women as it affected them, from the politics of everyday life. Her story mostly captures the women’s real world, her real experiences, and the various aspects of self-fashioning, without taking overt, ideological stances. The work has real life narration so she didn’t want to publish the work but finally publisher gave a nick name and published the story. “A Memory called Ammacchi” is a real life story about her, which she did not want to be published in her real name so the publisher published the book in the name of “Vaidehi”. She grew up by writing stories which she thought that if her brothers would come across her writings they would make a fun of her. She used to see her surrounding

and write her stories based on the lived realities of women. Women whose husbands had run away, child widows, those women who spent an entire lifetime working in other people's homes, Brahmin widows with shaven heads and red saris braving to the courts to claim pension, zany women, prostitutes… how can I forget that woman who threw her sister-in-law's new born baby into the well because she couldn't conceive.

I had chosen the story “A Memory called Ammacchi” written by Janaki Srinivasa Murthy whose pen name is Vaidehi. This story is related to a girl who would be of the age 10-12 years, no specific age of the girl is mentioned in the writing piece, and we in our literacy discussion came up with the age by having a common discussion after going through the story. Ammacchi was six months old when her father died. Ammacchhi was taken care by her mother and a male care taker named Venkappayya who was six years old and started staying in the same house where Ammacchhi lived. He always imagined that when Ammacchi would grow up he would marry her, and this was not idolized by Ammacchhi at all. She had never in her dreams thought that she would marry him, rather she hated his interference in every small thing that she did. There is a character named Shambhatta whom Ammacchhi really likes and her going to his place for Satyanarayan puja was just because she likes him; however it is not explicitly mentioned in the text whether he likes her too. Ammacchhi character in the text has been depicted as a very strong character; she did not have friends of her age, as other girls were sure to be rebuked at home if they were spotted in Ammacchhi’s company. Ammacchhi’s mother always told her to respect her as he was the only man in their life who had taken care, because of which Venkappayya always tried dominating and humiliating Ammacchhi whenever he got the opportunity. His over indulgence in family affairs was not liked by Ammacchhi at all. The author shares shared intimate relation with Ammacchhi and narrates that her company made her feel good and she would not have been anywhere if the author was not there with her. The author shares an incident which really irritated Ammacchhi, she had gone to Rama teacher who is also a tailor, so when Ammacchhi asks her to switch her a blouse with back button then Rama laughs sarcastically, and says that that she could stich it for her but what if Venkappayya creates a scene? She is not able to understand why everyone in the village is treating Venkappayya as her husband. Venkappayya used to go to Tirupathi every year, and this year also he had gone to worship, and when he was away, Ammacchhi went to his room and found a shirt hanging from the peg, the touch of the shirt was very repulsive to her and fetched a scissors to cut the back of the shirt. When Venkappayya returned and saw his shirt he got very furious and started abusing Ammacchhi, and caught her hair and dragged her into the room, to teach her a lesson. When the door opened her face was aflame and blood was oozing from her lips, we all in the group did discuss on this incident and came to a conclusion that might be Ammachhi was raped by Venkappayya. The author was resent at that moment when this sin had taken place, and was asked by Ammacchhi’s mother not to open her mouth to anyone in the village to what she had seen. However the villagers came to know, which lead to Ammacchhi’s and Venkappayya marriage. After marriage they both settled to Tirupathi. After few days, Ammacchhi returns to her place and tells her mother that Venkappayya has hanged himself. The brave character that has been depicted by the author in the story really influenced me, since when I read the ending of the story I felt that Ammacchi was happy when she was giving the death news of Venkappayya to her mother. Even in the group discussion we came to a conclusion that it might be that she would had killed him by her own.  

In our group discussion, we all had different perspectives perceived by all individuals. I was very disturbed with the way Ammacchhi was looked upon and treated by Venkappaya. I think that nobody can forcefully gain anyone, however Venkappaya with his sinful deed tried acquiring Ammacchhi. On this we all had a discussion that the sin that he had done was not correct, Venkappaya just took Ammacchi as a commodity and thought that he only has complete right on her. The author did not explicitly mentioned in the text that what had happened in the room, however as a group we all had one conclusion that Ammacchi was literally raped and that Venkappaya showed his power upon her. This time Venkappaya had crossed all the limits, and this time he would had thought that she would have no other option to marry to anyone else apart from him, as Venkappaya was insecure at Ammacchi liked going to Shambhatta, and was sure that she even likes him. Ammachhi did not like Venkappaya at all. She was a bold girl, who like dressing up and going around the village which was not liked by Venkappaya. In our literary circle we felt that the narrator might have experienced this situation when she was a child. We did not know the age of the narrator; however we all came to a conclusion that it might be that the narrator would be of the age 7-8 years old. The narrator loved being around with Ammacchi and spent most of her time with her.

When I read this story, I could relate this to my mother’s life event which she used to tell her about her brothers. She was the youngest among the siblings so how she was suppressed by her elder brothers, she was not allowed to dress up like other girls, she was asked to stay back when her brothers were going for some marriage ceremony. If she said that she also wants to come along, she was shown eyes and was asked to stay back as girls going to others marriage was not good. People would see her with a different eye, which her brothers would not tolerate, and my mother was always asked to respect her elder brothers as they were the one who would be taking care of her in future. In Ammacchi’s case I felt that her mother was repeatedly telling her to respect Venkappaya, as he would be the one to take care of her.

After marriage when Ammacchi returns to her mother’s home she gives the news that Venkappaya has hanged himself her mother started weeping, we assumed that the narrator was also present at that moment since the way she had illustrated that after giving the news Ammacchhi looked at her with the corner of her eyes. The narrator has shown the boldness character of Ammachhi several times, and we all were in a conclusion that this time also Ammacchhi would had killed him and taken revenge to the sin that he had done over him. I was happy with the conclusion that at the end Venkappaya died, since as it would be very difficult for a women to live with that person who would had hurt her soul.

Thank you ma'am for giving us this platform to get our-self into literacy circle, where we did share different perspectives of one single story and then took our discussion further on a single note.